careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
