I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
