I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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