im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
