Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
