the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
