well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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