When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
