And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We are two peas in an std pod
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
