dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
