i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
