So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
