i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
