You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
