Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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