kristin has been a bad kristin
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
