Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize