I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
