I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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