So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
