and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
