**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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