i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
