I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
