you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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