apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This toilet bowl is my home.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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