i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
