i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He did a backflip because drugs
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
