Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
