Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
