I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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