I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
