..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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