He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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