just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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