my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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