Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
