nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
