It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
