I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
