ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
this will be a night to untag.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
