Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
