Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
