By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
