I just saw a hot homeless man
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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