Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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