I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
