You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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