Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
