I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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