Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
