you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
