I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
