seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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