y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Randomize
