they need to just BURY HIM!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize