So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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