Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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