Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
