why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
