Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize