So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
