Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
