Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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