when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
