no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Randomize
