I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
