Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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