You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
