were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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