I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize