Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
