He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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