So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
