We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize