just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
