So drunk its hurt
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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