I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
