im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
