I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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