Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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